Human
mind is a strange phenomenon. It feels sad on hurting someone and it feels hurt
when someone makes it sad. Is it not a fact that both these situations are trying
to teach us something? Do we really learn that something?
When
someone back stabs us, is it not logical that they must feel guilty? Why do we
feel hurt instead? Whose decision was it to do so? Are we really involved?
We
feel hurt for that someone in our heart whose heart does not carry us? Is this hurt
not a superficial one? Are they really hurting us or are we the real culprits?
We
feel it is better not to talk about something that hurts us. Should it not be the
other way round? Should we not vent out to someone close about that thing that hurts
us? Won’t this help clear the clutter in our mind?
We
keep thinking about that someone whom we decided is unimportant to us. If they
are so irrelevant, why do we make them relevant by thinking about them all
through the rest of our lives?
We are a bundle of
contrasts
We
humans are full of contrasts. We are ruled more by emotions than by logic most
of the times. We keep dilly dallying between reason and emotion all through our
life. We attribute reasons for others intentions in a blind manner. We base our actions and inaction on the
concocted intentions. We are comfortable pointing fingers on others even for
things that happen in our life. So, are we really living our life or living a
life designed by others?
For
instance, we come across people who lie for no reason and during all seasons.
We interact with them only to lament that they are typical ‘lie machines’. We
express our irritation and feel sorry we have wasted our precious on them. Did
we have a choice here to move away from the person for the rest of our
lifetime? If the relationship is a close one and cannot be done with, do we
have the choice not to lament about them after all we know they are that? Despite
having these choices if we continue to do what we usually do, is it a loss for
them or for us? They remain who they are and we remain who we are. So how does
it really matter?
Let’s
look at another life situation. We often feel someone is close to our heart. We
are so emotional about their relationship that we adamantly refuse to notice if
we are in their priority list. Every time they fail to reciprocate our feelings,
we feel hurt. We remain morose wasting a great deal of our time in thinking
what went wrong. We allow precious minutes slip through our sadness, unmindful
of the fact that we will never get back this lost time in our life. Has
anything changed in their life because we are hurt? Do they even know that we
are hurt? So are they really the reason for our sadness or is it our own doing?
Hurt – The two sided
sword
Hurt,
in reality, is a two edged sword.
We
get hurt by someone who hates us as well as by someone who is absolutely
possessive about us. We hurt someone whom we think we hate to the core as well
as whom we are maddeningly possessive about.
We
wait for the right moment to witness that someone get hurt, whose relationship
we claim to have quit. We keep hurting that someone who dedicates their whole life
for us, pouring out the grudges we hold on the ‘irrelevant’ others.
What
really makes the difference is if the mind rules the heart or the heart rules the
mind.
When
our mind rules our heart we are amazingly logical. We deny permission for
others to hurt us. We decide who and what can really hurt us.
When
our heart rules our mind we remain a bundle of emotions. We allow every
passerby to hurt us and feel hurt even for the most unworthy things in life.
Anything that hurts
you can teach you
Cold
winters make us enjoy the warmth of summer. The loss we experience in life
makes us realize the value of things that we have. Our foes teach us the value
of our loved ones. Our back stabbers make us understand the efficacy of honesty.
If
this is the case, is it not prudence to welcome the winters of life whole
heartedly and thank the people who ditched us? After all, these are the people
who taught us to pull ourselves from the gutter they threw us in.
Let
us thank those who follow us like our own shadow to relish our failures. These
are the people who develop the competitive spirit in us forcing us to succeed
in every walk of our life.
Nothing
succeeds without an opposition. Instead of building grudges and harping on the
same, look for lessons to be learnt whenever you are hurt. Life has thousands
of invaluable lessons to teach only if you decide on the relevancy of people in
your life. Remember, anything that hurts
you teaches you the most valuable lessons in life. After all, life is the best
teacher and the lessons it teaches us is one of best syllabus.
2 comments:
And only a person who has welcomed several winters in her life can write this with such clarity.
Thank you
Post a Comment