Suicide - Is it their choice or our inattention?

Do any of us choose to have heart attacks?

Do any of us choose to have migraine headaches that cause excruciating pain?

How many of us want to be the victims of criminal offenses or terrorist attacks?

Do we want any of our children to be molested sexually or mentally abused?

Does any woman in this world want to be raped by perpetrators or beaten up by their husbands?

Do any of us desire to be mistreated or discriminated in our day to day life?

Do any of us desire to commit suicide?

It is a fact that death is not an antonym of life but a part of it. Still, suicides have always shocked us. When a close one ‘self slaughters’ themselves, their memories inside us starts killing us. Our life becomes hard since we constantly get killed every moment while still being alive. Do we really deserve such a daunting life? Who caused us this painful life – the person who committed suicide or ourselves?

When people commit suicide?

People don’t commit suicide when they have many choices in life. Suicide, in reality, is not a choice but the left over option when everything else in life seems to fail. Some factors that push people to kill themselves are ‘ignorance’, misguided notions, outdated ideologies and idiotic belief systems.

People commit suicide when they feel that their basic potential has decomposed into irreparable disappointments. Such feelings make them think that it is easy to ‘die once’ than to face the problems one over the other. As a prisoner wants to escape from the prison, a depressed person wants to escape from living.

The sadistic killer inside them pushes them to strangulate themselves for no logical reason. Their body gets brutalized by the agonies experienced by their mind. Even normal activities like breathing, eating, walking, thinking and sleeping becomes unbearable for them.

They feel overwhelmed due to frustrations, desperation, disappointments, mediocrity, idleness, limited insights, difficulties, insatiability, poverty, pain and vicissitudes. The mental weakness created by the above factors drives them to the conclusion that life is not worth living. Rather, they feel afraid to live anymore.

Signs indicating abnormality in people

 Many who commit suicide tend to show one or the other symptoms listed below.Observing them closely will help save their life on time.

• Talks frequently about death or dying
• Unable to cope up with their mental trauma experienced due to the death of a  close one
• Loss of interest in relationships (including friendships), activities and habits
• Sudden changes in personality type – Being sad and withdrawn. Showing signs of irritation 
• frequently. 
• Exhibiting high levels of anxiety and indecisiveness. Being constantly restless
• Lack of focus in school, office or at home in whatever they are supposed to do
• Change in sleeping patterns. Oversleeping or early waking up. Insomnia or suffering from nightmarish dreams during sleep 
• Change in eating habits – Over eating or eating lesser than their normal quantities or frequencies 
• Actions that are self harming or causing harm to others 
• Speaking hopelessly all the time

Suicides are not really suicides
 

Suicides are nothing but cheating oneself out of the chance for existing.

Nobody would choose suicide over life if we chop the “pain-causing-wound’ inside them.

Nobody will handshake with suicide if we hand hold them during their tough times in life.

Nobody will opt to sleep permanently if we offer a passionate ear to the agony they experience during their sleepless nights.

Nobody will try to forcefully fly out of this world if we spend time with them identifying the mental torture they experience

Nobody will despise this world if we give them company, disallowing them to feel that the world is getting smaller and uglier.

Nobody will feel like committing suicide if we make their pain bearable and teach them how they must feel about their life.
 

Let us help them live 

Not wanting to die is a heavier challenge than wanting to live.

It is the responsibility of each one of us to help people whose mind splinters, swallowing them in to their own madness.

Let us make people who move towards suicide realize that they have got many choices in life.

Let us help them turn their woes of life into indelible foot marks that is worth emulating. 

It is important that we make them laugh and cry openly so they sweat out their willingness to die.

Let us give them the hope to fight back their life challenges instead of making them yield to their suicidal instincts.

Let us help them to change that which is driving them crazy instead of becoming a prey to the incorrigible madness.

Let us make them realize that no circumstance in life is uncommon to human. 

It is our responsibility to make their past slide down the drain so they will be their normal self again.

It is a fact that people commit suicide not to end their life but just to end their pains. They need our help. Remember, it is just not about saving a single life but the lives of whole lot of people who love them. Suicide, per se, is not cowardliness. It is the call of the suffering souls for helping hands.

Silence – Protecting shield or Suicide Bomb?

Is it not true that many a time we distanced ourselves from people thinking that our silence would make them realize their wrongs?

How many times in our life have we chosen silence over speaking, thinking that it is the best way to punish others?

In reality, whether silencing ourselves for things that hurt us is bad for others or not, it is highly detrimental for our mental and physical health. We will see how.

Silence – The controlled alertness of mind

Silence leads to success when it is the language you speak as a symbol of wisdom. We come across many successful people in life who either smile or maintain silence when instigating questions are asked. This is either due to the maturity levels that their status and experiences in life bestowed on them or a gesture to hide something that is not shareable. Irrespective of the reason, their control over their reactions during instigating situations is what is to be noticed. Silence acts as a protecting shield here.

Silence – Pointer to a unhealthy Mind

During many occasions in our day to day life, we go into a silent mode when things do not happen in the way we expected them to happen. We maintain silence when we are unable to cope up with what is happening around us.

When we become silent, the unpleasant thoughts that pass through our mind gets stored deep in the subconscious. This means, by becoming silent, we just push the unwanted thoughts temporarily away thinking that we can handle the same later some time. Sometimes, we push such unpleasant thoughts away assuming that these will fade away with the passing of time. This is termed as Repression medically.

When people hide memories intentionally, it is termed as motivated forgetting. When memories get buried deep inside the subconscious mind due to incidents that are traumatic in nature it is termed as Amnesia. All the above means, Silence maintained by repressing emotions kills mental health. Silence acts as a suicide bomb here.

Repression devastates physical health too 

Repression does not end up with affecting our mental health. It takes a toll on our physical health affecting our immune system to a great extent. We fall ill frequently than ever suffering from headaches and cold. We feel stressed and left out. We feel so exhausted that we start yearning for a helping hand. Medicines seem to be having less impact on us and we continue to feel weak. The best thing is, we start attributing it to seasonal changes and food allergies.

Retaliation of an unhealthy mind

When we choose to be silent suppressing our feelings, our mind tends to get overloaded. Lack of venting out feelings leads to insertion of the same in future fights with people unconcerned with the hurt. The overloaded mind makes us retaliate with the concerned in a miserable manner every time we meet them after such repression. It makes us indulge in behaviors that are self destructive in nature. We avoid eating on time or punish ourselves in various other ways that would disallow us to lead a normal life.

It is during such times that we tend to attribute everything to the genes of those who caused the hurt in us. Our loaded mind manipulates our emotions making us exhibit undue control over the concerned relationships. By numbing all our emotions, we allow our self esteem to lower down to extents, which we would not do if we were the original ‘us’.

Don’t repress. Express

 Make silence the basic source of your strength instead of allowing it to make you weak on all aspects. Use silence to think about moving forward in life and not for fretting and fuming about people whom you despise. Make silence your strength and avoid using it for wreaking revenge. The purpose of your silence must not be to wreak vengeance on people who made you feel sorry but to gift yourself peace of mind.

Divert your hurt mind in avenues that interest you. Listen to good music. Watch your favorite TV program. Read motivating books. Invoke the child in you and focus in fostering the same. Do everything that would help you maintain your mind in a relaxed state. Avoid thinking about incidents and people that hurt you.

Remember, nothing haunts your mind like the things you don't say

Choose that one person and express yourself honestly to them. If you do not have anyone to confide in, become your best friend and calm yourself down. Instruct your mind not to think about people and incidents that you do not relish thinking about. Pull your mind out of such thoughts in a conscious manner every time it indulges in the same. 

Unless you change something in you nothing changes. If you can’t change yourself, how can you expect others to change?  

Change all that is changeable. Accept all that is unchangeable and unavoidable. Pull yourself away from the unacceptable. This is the secret of living a gratifying life.