Turn the page or close the book

Relationships are one of those basic factors that contribute to our life experiences in a major way. We either enjoy life allowing positive people to enter or suffer in many ways opening doors for the negative people to walk in.

Is there any human being in this world who has not thought about coming out of a relationship even once in their life time?

Is it not true that decisions pertaining to relationships have always been tough causing stress every now and then?

Do we have the courage to walk out of relationships that cause distress?

Why are we hesitant to get out of relationships that disrespect or hurt us constantly? What stops us from doing this?

Stop watering dead plants

We get to choose many relationships during the journey of our life and many of them are forced on us by life situations. Irrespective of how we entered in to relationships, we have the choice to remain in them or to exit out of the same at any point of time.

Negative relationships are like weeds that kill healthy plants. We foster negative relationships either out of compulsion or out of foolishness. Fostering negative relationships out of compulsion may be to respect our cultural background, traditional outlook and familial practices being followed for ages. In such cases, setting the expectations right can be tried out before walking out of the relationships once and for all. However, if people adamantly refuse to understand what you try to communicate, get out of the relationship instead of staying in and getting hurt time and again.

Fostering negative relationships for emotional reasons is nothing but foolishness. Emotions blind our intelligence most of the times making us tag along with relationships that hurt or disrespect us in many ways. Human mind gets affected by Pistanthrophobia which is basically a fear caused by the negative experiences relationships created in the past. When we still bind ourselves with such relationships, we are but watering dead plants.

Relationships are synonymous to reading books

Those of us who have the habit of reading books know how the same works. We start reading a book looking at the back cover like we initiate a relationship based on the impression created at the first instance or by hear say. We turn to the subsequent pages when the book feeds our thirst for knowledge. Some books make us discontinue when the subject gets diluted, deviating from the core. We stop reading some books when they fail to meet our expectations.

In the same wave length, some relationships add immense value to our life. They make our very existence in this earth a worthwhile one. Fostering such relationships is like turning the pages of the book to read the same till the end. Some relationships however, make life bitter. Such toxic relationships exhibit falsity, disrespecting us during every walk of our life. They lack gratitude and honesty. The green eyed monster in them is always awake monitoring the advancements we make in life. The negative vibrations they emit when they are around us or away, keep pulling us down in various ways despite our sincere efforts to climb upwards.

Turn the page or close the book

Severing relationships is not as tough as it appears to be if we have high levels of assertiveness. Understanding the difference between severing relationships and putting a full stop to unpleasant experiences is highly crucial. Let us look at some instances which indicate that you have to get out of a relationship.

• If you are made to fight for a spot in one’s priority list, get rid of the relationship disallowing yourself to be an option for them
• When people are never available for you to share your problems and stress, severe those relationships since you are however, not in their mind
• When people call you only when they need help from you, get out of that selfish relationship
• When you feel depressed due to someone who makes you feel lonely all the time, come out of the relationship. They just don’t care for you
• When someone breaks your trust in a repeated manner, unchain yourself from the relationship without delaying. They don’t deserve you anymore
• When people find no time to spend with you, cut yourself off from the relationship. Avoid investing your valuable time in such relationships
• When someone does not acknowledge your real worth, pull yourself out of the relationship without trying to prove the same to them. They will never understand.
• When someone disrespects you, snap the relationship exhibiting your respect for self

When you read a book, you have the choice to turn the page and continue reading or you have the choice to close the same never to open again. In the same manner, you have the choice to remain in an unwanted relationship and continue to suffer throughout your life time. You also have the choice to get out of the same and live a stress free meaningful life for the rest of your time on the planet.

Remember, indifference in relationships is similar to polar frosts that last for a long period of time. Being emotional just makes you waste precious moments of your life in false relationships. Remaining chained in false relationships deprives you of your freedom in all aspects. The mental dependency such untruthful relationships create in you makes you a psychological junk. Choose between turning the page and closing the book so you can add meaning to your invaluable life.

Unchain - Anything that hurts you can teach you

Human mind is a strange phenomenon. It feels sad on hurting someone and it feels hurt when someone makes it sad. Is it not a fact that both these situations are trying to teach us something? Do we really learn that something?

When someone back stabs us, is it not logical that they must feel guilty? Why do we feel hurt instead? Whose decision was it to do so? Are we really involved?

We feel hurt for that someone in our heart whose heart does not carry us? Is this hurt not a superficial one? Are they really hurting us or are we the real culprits?

We feel it is better not to talk about something that hurts us. Should it not be the other way round? Should we not vent out to someone close about that thing that hurts us? Won’t this help clear the clutter in our mind?

We keep thinking about that someone whom we decided is unimportant to us. If they are so irrelevant, why do we make them relevant by thinking about them all through the rest of our lives?

We are a bundle of contrasts

We humans are full of contrasts. We are ruled more by emotions than by logic most of the times. We keep dilly dallying between reason and emotion all through our life. We attribute reasons for others intentions in a blind manner. We base our actions and inaction on the concocted intentions. We are comfortable pointing fingers on others even for things that happen in our life. So, are we really living our life or living a life designed by others?

For instance, we come across people who lie for no reason and during all seasons. We interact with them only to lament that they are typical ‘lie machines’. We express our irritation and feel sorry we have wasted our precious on them. Did we have a choice here to move away from the person for the rest of our lifetime? If the relationship is a close one and cannot be done with, do we have the choice not to lament about them after all we know they are that? Despite having these choices if we continue to do what we usually do, is it a loss for them or for us? They remain who they are and we remain who we are. So how does it really matter?

Let’s look at another life situation. We often feel someone is close to our heart. We are so emotional about their relationship that we adamantly refuse to notice if we are in their priority list. Every time they fail to reciprocate our feelings, we feel hurt. We remain morose wasting a great deal of our time in thinking what went wrong. We allow precious minutes slip through our sadness, unmindful of the fact that we will never get back this lost time in our life. Has anything changed in their life because we are hurt? Do they even know that we are hurt? So are they really the reason for our sadness or is it our own doing?

Hurt – The two sided sword

Hurt, in reality, is a two edged sword.

We get hurt by someone who hates us as well as by someone who is absolutely possessive about us. We hurt someone whom we think we hate to the core as well as whom we are maddeningly possessive about.

We wait for the right moment to witness that someone get hurt, whose relationship we claim to have quit. We keep hurting that someone who dedicates their whole life for us, pouring out the grudges we hold on the ‘irrelevant’ others.

What really makes the difference is if the mind rules the heart or the heart rules the mind.

When our mind rules our heart we are amazingly logical. We deny permission for others to hurt us. We decide who and what can really hurt us.

When our heart rules our mind we remain a bundle of emotions. We allow every passerby to hurt us and feel hurt even for the most unworthy things in life.

Anything that hurts you can teach you

Cold winters make us enjoy the warmth of summer. The loss we experience in life makes us realize the value of things that we have. Our foes teach us the value of our loved ones. Our back stabbers make us understand the efficacy of honesty.

If this is the case, is it not prudence to welcome the winters of life whole heartedly and thank the people who ditched us? After all, these are the people who taught us to pull ourselves from the gutter they threw us in.

Let us thank those who follow us like our own shadow to relish our failures. These are the people who develop the competitive spirit in us forcing us to succeed in every walk of our life.

Nothing succeeds without an opposition. Instead of building grudges and harping on the same, look for lessons to be learnt whenever you are hurt. Life has thousands of invaluable lessons to teach only if you decide on the relevancy of people in your life.  Remember, anything that hurts you teaches you the most valuable lessons in life. After all, life is the best teacher and the lessons it teaches us is one of best syllabus.