Unchain - Anything that hurts you can teach you

Human mind is a strange phenomenon. It feels sad on hurting someone and it feels hurt when someone makes it sad. Is it not a fact that both these situations are trying to teach us something? Do we really learn that something?

When someone back stabs us, is it not logical that they must feel guilty? Why do we feel hurt instead? Whose decision was it to do so? Are we really involved?

We feel hurt for that someone in our heart whose heart does not carry us? Is this hurt not a superficial one? Are they really hurting us or are we the real culprits?

We feel it is better not to talk about something that hurts us. Should it not be the other way round? Should we not vent out to someone close about that thing that hurts us? Won’t this help clear the clutter in our mind?

We keep thinking about that someone whom we decided is unimportant to us. If they are so irrelevant, why do we make them relevant by thinking about them all through the rest of our lives?

We are a bundle of contrasts

We humans are full of contrasts. We are ruled more by emotions than by logic most of the times. We keep dilly dallying between reason and emotion all through our life. We attribute reasons for others intentions in a blind manner. We base our actions and inaction on the concocted intentions. We are comfortable pointing fingers on others even for things that happen in our life. So, are we really living our life or living a life designed by others?

For instance, we come across people who lie for no reason and during all seasons. We interact with them only to lament that they are typical ‘lie machines’. We express our irritation and feel sorry we have wasted our precious on them. Did we have a choice here to move away from the person for the rest of our lifetime? If the relationship is a close one and cannot be done with, do we have the choice not to lament about them after all we know they are that? Despite having these choices if we continue to do what we usually do, is it a loss for them or for us? They remain who they are and we remain who we are. So how does it really matter?

Let’s look at another life situation. We often feel someone is close to our heart. We are so emotional about their relationship that we adamantly refuse to notice if we are in their priority list. Every time they fail to reciprocate our feelings, we feel hurt. We remain morose wasting a great deal of our time in thinking what went wrong. We allow precious minutes slip through our sadness, unmindful of the fact that we will never get back this lost time in our life. Has anything changed in their life because we are hurt? Do they even know that we are hurt? So are they really the reason for our sadness or is it our own doing?

Hurt – The two sided sword

Hurt, in reality, is a two edged sword.

We get hurt by someone who hates us as well as by someone who is absolutely possessive about us. We hurt someone whom we think we hate to the core as well as whom we are maddeningly possessive about.

We wait for the right moment to witness that someone get hurt, whose relationship we claim to have quit. We keep hurting that someone who dedicates their whole life for us, pouring out the grudges we hold on the ‘irrelevant’ others.

What really makes the difference is if the mind rules the heart or the heart rules the mind.

When our mind rules our heart we are amazingly logical. We deny permission for others to hurt us. We decide who and what can really hurt us.

When our heart rules our mind we remain a bundle of emotions. We allow every passerby to hurt us and feel hurt even for the most unworthy things in life.

Anything that hurts you can teach you

Cold winters make us enjoy the warmth of summer. The loss we experience in life makes us realize the value of things that we have. Our foes teach us the value of our loved ones. Our back stabbers make us understand the efficacy of honesty.

If this is the case, is it not prudence to welcome the winters of life whole heartedly and thank the people who ditched us? After all, these are the people who taught us to pull ourselves from the gutter they threw us in.

Let us thank those who follow us like our own shadow to relish our failures. These are the people who develop the competitive spirit in us forcing us to succeed in every walk of our life.

Nothing succeeds without an opposition. Instead of building grudges and harping on the same, look for lessons to be learnt whenever you are hurt. Life has thousands of invaluable lessons to teach only if you decide on the relevancy of people in your life.  Remember, anything that hurts you teaches you the most valuable lessons in life. After all, life is the best teacher and the lessons it teaches us is one of best syllabus.