Don't hold grudges - Make them irrelevant

Holding grudges against people and forgiving the ones who caused the damage are both equally tough. We grew up hearing people say forgiving those who wronged us is godliness.

Why is that holding grudges come to us so naturally despite the fact that they damage us in many ways?

Why are we finding it difficult to forgive people despite such forgiveness helping us shed the load off our mind?

What makes us harp on grudges remembering facts in a precise manner despite having a low memory otherwise?

If forgiving is so tough, is there any alternative available so we can live the peaceful life we deserve?

Is forgiving mandatory and does it have any connection with self respect?

If you are right in your judgment about their wrong doings in the past, is it not a perfect reason for you to live your present life to its fullest?

If you feel that the mistakes and wrongdoings are not on your part, is it not logical that those who did it must be left back in the past and not you?

Grudges are memoirs of the poisonous past

Grudges, in reality, are nothing but the resentful memories we carry from our disagreeable past. The irony however is that we have already lived that ‘past’ experiencing the bitterness that has numbed our taste buds for life. Grudges which are but the impact that the past bitterness(es) have caused in our mind, alters our thought process to devastating levels.  We humans are ruled by thoughts that originate from our mind. This makes grudges occupy a major portion of our personality in an easy and involuntary manner.

Grudges have the capacity to haunt us more than even the evil spirits do. Warding off evil spirits is easier than getting rid of grudges though both are internal. Living in the past makes you an exception in a negative way since every successful person around you have already traveled away from their past to live their current life happily. Consciously awaken yourself for a few moments and just look around yourself. You will realize to your shock that even those who created the pain to you have walked past you, leaving you to struggle in the past.

Understand that when you love someone with all your heart, forgiving is a child’s play. When you find it difficult to forgive someone, probably you were either overly possessive or the relationship did not matter to you at all. When you are overly possessive about someone, your inner self believes them so much that the slightest of letting down hurts you deeply. You find it difficult to forgive them. When the relationship did not matter to you, their mistake causes anger in you making it difficult for you to forgive them. Either way, possessiveness that fosters positive relationship and anger that cultivates negative relationships stay back in our mind permanently in the form of Grudges.

Forgiving – Child’s play or Herculean task

Forgiving becomes a child’s play when we sincerely want someone in our life till we live. These are the relationships that we are overly possessive about. When we forgive someone, it does not remain an action from our side after something is over. It displays our attitude to the ones we love reinforcing our sincerity towards their relationship. Here, forgiving acts as a tool to strengthen relationships that are significant for us with those who consider us important.

There are other relationships which we find difficult to forgive. Do not force yourself to forgive such relationships for two reasons. One, how much ever you try, you will never succeed in forgiving such relationships completely. Second, even if you convince yourself that you have forgiven them for what they did in the past, it is falsity. That has not happened. You despised such relationships carrying grudges about them for a reason that is strongly etched in your subconscious. Yes it is true that it requires enormous strength to forgive those who wronged you. However, do not go out of the way and hurt yourself in the process. Forgive if you can. Else move away to a safe distance from the grudges and the people who caused the same.

Do not pick up phone calls from your past

Avoid attending phone calls you receive from your past. Refuse to allow the shadows of your past ruin the light at your doorstep. If someone has pulled you down in the past so much that you are unable to forgive them, respect your feelings. Let them remain only in your past and not in your present or future. Move away from such people making them irrelevant to your life. 

Do not allow yourself to stay back in the past for the mistake of others. Make yourself comfortable with your present so your future is completely under your control. Grudges, in reality, make us waste precious moments of our present life. Pull yourself out of the anger and frustration your grudges have created in your mind. Push your grudges out into the milky-way by making the people who caused the same irrelevant. Unless you make them irrelevant you will remain only a second choice for yourself.